When the Dream Dies, But You’re Still Alive
When the Dream Dies, But You’re Still Alive
A Reflection for the Ones Who’ve Had to Choose Survival Over Vision
There are dreams I’ve carried like babies in the womb —
not just ideas, but entire futures I gave my heart to.
Dreams I worked for.
Prayed over.
Built my life around.
And then I found myself standing in moments where I had to make a devastating choice:
Do I keep going in this direction — the one I’ve sacrificed so much for?
Or do I pivot… because I need to survive this season of my life?
Some of those pivots were forced by the hands of others:
A partner who told me I couldn’t finish school.
A relationship so unsafe that I had to abandon my own aspirations just to make it out alive.
A lack of money, support, or time — where every choice felt like a risk, and none of them felt like freedom.
Other times, the pivot wasn’t just about survival in theory —
it was about bills due next week,
food on the table,
children depending on me,
and no roadmap for how to do it all.
I didn’t pivot because I gave up.
I pivoted because I had to.
Because I was in a season of survival.
And survival doesn’t always look noble — but it is sacred.
The part we don’t talk about enough is this:
When you make decisions in survival mode,
you don’t get time to grieve what you left behind.
You move.
You hustle.
You protect what needs protecting.
You stretch yourself thinner than is fair.
And you pray that one day, somehow, you’ll come back to the dream.
But eventually, the grief catches up.
It shows up as fear to try again.
Hesitation to hope.
A dull ache when you see others doing what you once loved —
and a voice inside whispers, “That could’ve been me.”
I’m not ashamed of my pivots.
But I am choosing to honor them differently now.
Because I’ve realized that every pivot cost me something.
And that grief deserves to be acknowledged — not hidden under strength.
So I’m letting myself go back and say:
“That dream mattered.
That version of me mattered.
The time, the effort, the belief — it all mattered.
And even if I had to lay it down,
it gave me something I still carry.”
This isn’t about blame.
It’s not about regret.
It’s about truth-telling.
Because the world is full of people standing at the exact same edge I once stood on —
wondering if they should keep building, or get a job.
Keep writing, or sell the course.
Keep hoping, or pivot… again.
If that’s you — know this:
You are not weak for asking the question.
You are wise for feeling the weight of your season.
So what now?
I’m choosing to pause and grieve the dreams I laid down —
not to stay stuck in the past,
but to make peace with it.
I’m letting go of the guilt.
The shame.
The “what ifs.”
I’m thanking the versions of me who made the hard calls —
not perfectly, but powerfully.
And I’m reminding myself:
“Every pivot shaped me.
Every redirection still gave me something of value.
And every season I survived made me strong enough to thrive in the next.”
You are not behind.
You are not failing.
You are a survivor, building again.
A dreamer who had to pause, but never stopped believing.
A leader who chose life — and is now ready to choose vision again.
If you’re standing at that crossroads now,
I pray for provision, clarity, and peace.
May the chains of unprocessed grief break off you.
May the fear of loss no longer dictate your next move.
And may your future finally feel safe enough to dream again.
In Yeshua’s name,
Amen.
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