What If You Don’t Feel Worthy — But Still Want to Believe It’s Coming?
Some mornings your body tells you to go f*ck yourself.
But you get up anyway.
You push through.
You drag yourself out of bed like you’re wearing chain weights around your ankles.
You show up for work. For the kids. For the clients. For the world.
Because stopping isn’t an option.
But then there are mornings like today —
when your body refuses to fake it.
And all you can do is lay there,
coffee in your system, meds taken,
still staring at the ceiling with nothing left to give.
That was me.
Two client meetings on the calendar.
Nothing heavy. Nothing urgent.
The kind of day that should’ve been manageable.
But I didn’t move.
I stayed in bed — because my body felt like it was holding a boundary my brain couldn’t articulate yet.
So I gave myself permission.
A slow start.
A quiet “f*ck it” block of time before the meetings began.
No guilt. No performance. Just space to be still.
Because sometimes, when the emotional load gets heavy, routine doesn’t feel grounding — it feels like pressure.
And instead of forcing myself into motion, I let a YouTube movie play in the background.
One of those dramatic, ridiculous plots:
A girl abused by her mother.
Her tuition money taken again and again.
Her shot at school — gone.
Survival mode activated.
So she offers herself to a billionaire just to survive.
And the billionaire?
Infertile. Wealthy.
Finds out she’s pregnant with twins.
And instead of walking away — he protects her.
He removes the people trying to hurt her.
He provides.
He creates safety.
He gives her a life she didn’t believe she could have.
It was cheesy as hell. And I couldn’t look away.
Because somewhere between the corny plotline and the dramatic music…
I saw something real.
The girl didn’t believe she belonged in that life.
She hesitated.
Flinched at kindness.
Waited for it to disappear.
And watching her, I realized — we do this too.
There are seasons where you've done the work —
held the vision, prayed the prayers, stayed the course —
and still find yourself quietly wondering:
“Will the blessing still come…
if I don’t always feel worthy of it?”
Right then, my Bible app lit up with this:
“I tell you, you can pray for anything, and if you believe that you’ve received it, it will be yours.”
— Mark 11:24
No search.
No prompting.
Just… there.
And I just stared at it.
Because that was the question under everything that morning.
I didn’t feel high-vibe.
Didn’t feel aligned.
Didn’t feel powerful.
But I still wanted to receive.
That’s the tension I was holding.
Letting it be okay that belief wasn’t loud — but still alive.
Letting myself want what I prayed for… even if I didn’t feel all the way open.
If you’re in that space too —
quietly surviving your day,
carrying questions under the surface,
hoping it still finds you anyway —
This is your reminder:
You’re not broken.
You’re not failing.
You’re not forgotten.
God is not the billionaire with strings attached.
He’s not watching to see if you’ve earned it.
He’s not waiting for your most put-together version.
He is the One who saw you —
at your messiest, your rawest, your most undone —
and still said, you're mine, and I will take care of you.
So if all you have in you today is a whisper, let it be this:
“God, I want to believe. Help my unbelief.”
(Mark 9:24)
That’s not weakness.
That’s trust.
You are still chosen.
Still held.
Still loved.
Even in bed.
Even halfway through a cheesy YouTube movie.
Even when your belief feels like a flicker.
And yes — you can still manifest your heart’s desires,
even while struggling with worthiness.
That’s what grace really is.
“While we were still sinners…”
(While we were still stuck in doubt, unworthiness, negative thinking…)
“…Christ died for us.”
(God still gave us the power to kill off what doesn’t serve us,
and to rise with His mind — His purpose — His image.)
Even now.
“Delight yourself in the Lord, and He will give you the desires of your heart.”
— Psalm 37:4
It’s not about proving yourself.
It’s about returning to who you already are.
And everything you’ve asked for is still on the way.
If you're walking through the space between asking and receiving —
The Treasure in You™ was created for exactly that.
For the quiet yes.
For the sacred pause.
For the part of you learning how to receive — even when it feels unfamiliar.
You don’t have to do anything to be worthy.
You already are.
Let it land.
If this post spoke to something deep in you, there’s more where this came from.
Read more reflections like this at go.rebecasbeautiful.com/blog
or explore tools, trainings, and free resources created to support you at every stage of your healing and growth journey:
There’s a reason you found this message today.
Don’t stop here. Keep going. You’re already on the way.
