I Thought God Was Mad at Me — Until I Understood the Science of Collapse
Until I realized the version of God I had in my head… wasn’t Him at all.
For months, I imagined a cold, distant Father sitting high on a throne,
watching silently as my life unraveled.
I thought maybe I disappointed Him.
Maybe I missed something.
Maybe He was withholding breakthrough to teach me a lesson.
But that wasn’t what was happening.
This wasn’t divine punishment.
It was divine physics.
The collapse had nothing to do with how God felt about me…
and everything to do with how energy actually works.
This wasn’t some distant God sitting back while it all burned.
It was the laws He designed — the frequencies He encoded into creation —
responding to the dissonance I didn’t want to see.
And because what I had built couldn’t hold…
it fell.
The House Burned Down — But That Wasn’t the Beginning
I had finally created peace.
With my children.
In my space.
In my body.
In the energy inside my home.
It was an oasis.
Everyone felt it the moment they crossed the threshold.
Calm.
Safe.
Soft.
Honest.
You could breathe in my home.
You could rest there.
But I still felt like something was missing.
I thought maybe I needed a man to balance things out —
to bring masculine energy into the home,
to make the picture feel complete.
I didn’t realize it at the time,
but that longing was coming from a younger part of me —
a wounded place that still felt unprotected.
Still thought safety had to come from outside of me.
Still believed that a man’s presence would stabilize what I had built.
And through that wound, I attracted him.
The one who seemed perfect on paper.
The one who said all the right things.
The one who presented himself as the partner I had been praying for.
But what he actually brought with him
was chaos.
His world sucked me in quickly.
It triggered my protector instincts.
It made me want to carry him, help him, love him, shield him —
and share with him the peace I had worked so hard to build
for myself and my children.
And he felt it.
That’s what drew him in.
That’s what he wanted — for himself, and for his own children.
But wanting peace and being able to hold it are two different things.
And eventually, his chaos started to seep into the very walls I had worked so hard to make still.
It Couldn’t Hold the Frequency
The manipulation wasn’t little.
It was persistent.
It was subtle, then blatant.
It was spiritual.
He distorted truth.
Twisted my words.
Turned my love into something to control.
And I stayed.
Longer than I should have.
Because I believed it could get better.
Because I wanted him to feel safe.
Because I thought maybe I could hold the frequency for both of us.
But the more I loved… the more the betrayal grew.
And eventually, my house — my actual house — couldn’t take it anymore.
The Fire Wasn’t the First Collapse — It Was the Final One
The pain started long before the flames.
It started with betrayal.
Being cheated on by the man I believed was sent to heal with me —
to build a life beside me, the way we dreamed of together.
And while I was loving him with everything I had,
he was seeing other women.
Lying to me.
Manipulating the narrative.
Gaslighting my intuition.
And then… my father died.
The grief cracked something open in me.
Something I had been holding back.
The weight of what I had been tolerating — the distortion, the deception —
finally became too much to deny.
But the games didn’t stop.
Even after that.
He kept playing with my heart.
Pushing and pulling.
Claiming he loved me while betraying me over and over again behind the scenes.
And then… the house burned.
Not metaphorically.
Literally.
As if the walls themselves had reached their limit
and couldn’t absorb one more ounce of dissonance.
And After That — Everything Started Spiraling
My father had already died.
The house was now destroyed.
And then the contractor walked off.
The insurance company stalled.
And the man I once defended
turned on me completely.
He smeared my name.
Attacked my business.
Lied about me publicly.
Tried to destroy the very reputation he used to praise —
just because I was finally practicing boundaries
and refusing to let his chaos back into my life.
And still…
I wasn’t fully free.
I Was Still Tied to Him Energetically
Still hoping.
Still wondering if we could reconcile.
Still believing that somewhere deep down, he’d meet me in the middle.
But he couldn’t.
His frequency didn’t match mine — and never had.
And as long as I kept holding the door open,
the chaos kept coming.
My nervous system got worse.
My body stopped recovering.
Money disappeared.
Contractors ghosted.
Nothing flowed.
Everything stalled.
Because my life — like my house — was trying to recalibrate.
And it couldn’t do that while I was still holding on.
It Wasn’t Just Emotional — It Was Frequency
Every person, space, and system carries a frequency —
a measurable vibration that reflects what it’s holding.
When two frequencies are in resonance,
they sync.
They amplify.
They harmonize.
But when there’s dissonance —
when the vibration of one thing doesn’t match the other —
the system reacts.
It doesn’t matter if it’s a relationship, a body, a business, or a building.
If something inside the system is out of sync,
it creates tension…
then disruption…
and eventually, collapse.
That’s what was happening in my home.
I had built it on peace, on intention, on truth.
But I let someone in who didn’t match the frequency.
And over time, the tension became unbearable —
not just for me,
but for the space itself.
My House Vomited Us Out
It expelled all of us —
him, the kids, me.
The energy was too unstable.
Too distorted.
Too out of sync.
The house — like a body rejecting a virus —
reacted the only way it could:
by releasing everything that was throwing it off balance.
And when I tried to come back…
to rebuild…
to make it all work again…
Nothing moved.
Because the resonance still wasn’t there.
The frequency was still disrupted.
And I hadn’t fully let go.
I Prayed. I Cleared. I Released.
I stood in the silence and let it move.
I spoke the Ho’oponopono.
I prayed in tongues.
I cried.
I forgave.
I repented.
I let go.
I’m sorry.
Please forgive me.
I love you.
Thank you.
Not to him.
To my body.
To the house.
To the intelligence that governs the system of life itself.
This Wasn’t Personal — It Was Law
“Then I will hear from heaven, forgive their sin, and heal their land.”
(2 Chronicles 7:14)
That’s not metaphor.
That’s literal.
It’s how divine order works.
Your body, your house, your nervous system — all of it carries energy.
And when you invite something in that violates that integrity,
there’s only so long it can survive.
I couldn’t fake peace anymore.
And the system wouldn’t let me build on a lie.
Once I Let Go — For Real
Once I cut the cord completely,
the energy shifted.
The air lightened.
The flies disappeared.
The house finally softened.
It had been waiting for me to return clean.
Aligned.
Clear.
And almost immediately — as if the house could feel me again —
someone else showed up.
Someone new.
A different builder.
One who saw the vision. One who offered to help us get back home.
As if my house was calling in its helpers.
As if it had been holding out for the moment I’d finally match its restoration frequency again.
And now I know — the rebuild can begin.
If You’re in a Season of Collapse
Where everything is unraveling —
where you’re doing the work but nothing is moving…
Check the tie.
Check the frequencies.
Check what you're still trying to hold onto
because of hope or habit or fear of letting go.
Sometimes it’s not an attack.
It’s a purification.
Sometimes the collapse is the answer.
I’m Rebuilding Now — But Everything’s Different
This time I’m not trying to save anyone.
I’m not building for someone else to feel safe.
I’m not pouring into energy that only takes.
This time it’s mine.
This time it’s aligned.
This time the house will stand.
And if you’re standing in your own rubble — unsure where to start, unsure what’s salvageable — let me tell you this:
The blueprints that brought me back to life are the same ones I’ve poured into The Treasure in You™. They’re not just ideas or inspiration. They’re tested. Proven. Lived.
Because healing isn’t just about knowing the truth — it’s about embodying it. Rebuilding from it. Transmuting pain into purpose, instead of pretending you’re unaffected.
That’s what this program is. That’s what this blog became. That’s what I’ve done.
And now it’s here for you.
Start where it all really begins — inside your nervous system, your story, your spirit, and your frequency.
My book The Treasure in You is coming by the end of August — and this blog is part of the journey that shaped it. But the book is just the beginning.
If you’re ready to rebuild your life from the inside out — not just through mindset, but with the support of trauma-informed tools, energetic realignment, and faith-based manifestation — the Treasure in You™ program is open now.
I coach from lived experience. I’ve walked through fire — emotionally, spiritually, and literally — and I only teach what I know restores, because I’ve tested it through pain, grief, rebuilding, and alignment.
My background in trauma, education, strategy, and nervous system healing is part of it — but my authority comes from the transformation I’ve lived.
If you’re ready to experience your own restoration…
Let’s begin.
